There was a time when I wanted to move because it was so hard to live this far from civilization, but over the ten years we've been here a lot of civilization has moved to us, that is if you consider 5 or so banks in a two block radius civilization. There are still reasons I have to go into "town" every week, but it usually doesn't bother me too much, usually.
There was a time when I wanted to move because of my actual house. That was before the basement was finished and we were living with 7 people in 3 bedrooms and a dirt yard. When we finished the basement and added landscaping to the backyard, it became much more livable.
Now we are here at this time. Now, before you all get in an uproar I'm not saying I'm moving. As you can see from the above I've wanted to move a lot, usually yearly, but I don't. There have been many reasons for wanting to move. In the last few years though it has settled down to basically one reason. Is this where I want to raise my kids? This area is an amazing place to raise little kids. They have lots of friends and there are lots of parks. Also, I would be so sad to leave the charter elementary school. We are now moving into a phase of not so little kids anymore though. So I'm thinking: Is this the jr. high/high school I want my kids to attend? I start looking at the demographics of the teenage population and get a wee bit concerned.
It's not so much about the house itself for me anymore. Other than the fact that we are getting to a point where I want to be settled down basically until we retire. I want to be in a home where I can raise my kids for good. Where they can graduate high school, go on a mission/school and return to the same house.
Even though we have lived here for 10 years my kids have not really had kids they have grown up with due to the fact that the area is so transitory. Luckily Ian and Sophia have both had 1 friend each that has been here the whole time, but the other 3 have not. So it's not like they would be leaving a lot of people behind.
Kenneth wants our next house to have more land. He wants to try his hand at little goats and I want to try chickens and we would like more garden space. Land costs money. Did you know? It does, especially in this high density desert. We want a nice house to go along with that land, not a mansion, just a nice, newer (as in less than 20 years old) house. That also costs money.
We are in a really nice place right now as far as our mortgage goes. We are actually paying huge chunks of principle right now, we get to see our mortgage go down every month. It's a very satisfying feeling. We could pay this house off in 5-7 years. 5 years if we paid extra and 7 years if we just paid what we are currently paying. That is very exciting.
However, by that time Ian would be leaving on his mission or just getting back, Sophia would be a junior or away at school, Theron would be a sophomore or a senior in high school, Orion an 8th grader or a sophomore and Dylan a 6th grader or an 8th grader. So we run into the problem of taking the kids away from what they've known their whole life at that point.
So then I would just want to stay here. There's nothing wrong with that. We just wouldn't have more land or a bigger house. No chickens, goats or bigger garden and really tight family get togethers as kids start marrying and reproducing. There's nothing wrong with that. I know people who grew up in tiny houses with lots of kids and their parents still live there. I really have no problem with that. I just feel that right now is the time to decide if we are going to move.
Ian will be in 9th, but he was home schooled last year and has attending 6 schools thus far, so he doesn't really have loyalty to any. Sophia will be in 7th so this would be a fairly good time to change. Theron will be in 5th, Orion in 3rd and Dylan in 1st so they would all be good as well.
Then there's the fact that I helped several people move last year and it does not look fun, so part of me just wants to stay here and never leave. I don't want to get my house ready to sell, I don't want to pack anything and I don't want to move and unpack. See? This is seriously so confusing. I have no idea what to do. It makes sense to move, it makes sense to stay. Looking at it logically from all angles: kids, paying off a house, teenage population, and schools what do you think?
13 comments:
I think moving sucks. I think that really nice houses have really annoying details that you never know about till you start living there. I think lots of land mostly means lots of yard work. I think that you can make a happy wonderful life anywhere as long as you're committed to it and not longing for something else, or somewhere else. I think, no I KNOW that you'll make the right decision and be very happy there or somewhere and your kids will look back with fond memories of where they grew up, no matter where it is. And I think that if you really move to a house that's big enough for everyone to gather at with their spouses and kids, that the rest of the year it will be unpleasantly large and empty. But that's just me. Good luck. Not a fun decision.
Well now, I have some very good news for you....in Indiana, land is CHEAP! ;) Just pack up and head to the land of Hoosiers! Huge yards and less expensive houses! Just think about it. Wow, I am recruiting.
For me, I love LOVE change so I kind of like moving. Good luck!
Shoot, just commented as Jim, thought I copied it, erased it, and lost it. So here it goes again.
On the one hand, not having a mortgage would be AMAZING. On the other hand, you can't put a price on your kids' educational opportunities/peer groups, etc. If you feel like the high school isn't going to work for your kids for whatever reason, that is a major factor. Definitely a matter of prayer.
(And the other thing I was going to point out is that you won't find friends as cool as us elsewhere.)
And love the title. Very clever. I didn't catch it the first time. :)
GOOD LUCK! you are right you are at the point you need to decide to stay or go...i love it here but am with you and how many teenagers there will be will be crazy! It is also hard that this area is so transitory. You will make the right choice...I think no matter what you decide you will be happy, you are just a happy person!
Just caught up on all your posts...so cute! I love the one comparing your old dream life to who you are. It is much better than your dream.
Paying down your principle like that is SO amazing! And it would still be amazing to sell your house owing so little on it, if a move is the right thing to do - so that seems like a win/win to me. It just doesn't seem like it would be worth it to stick around waiting to owe $0 in 8 years (when the kids are in more difficult stages to move) if a move is the right thing to do. Such a big IF. I hate the big decisions!!! But, I think of what Jared says about the move your fam made that was so instrumental for him in making new/better friends and think that there is a lot to be said for recognizing the need to change and be in a good place for your kids. That being said, I too agree with the first comment - you can be happy and raise a great family just about anywhere. And I wouldn't want to clean a house too much larger than what you've got right now :). It is a leap of faith either way - if you stay, you have faith that your kids will choose good friends and not roam the neighborhood with the packs and if you go, you have faith that you can all handle the upheaval and the financial risk. I agree that it seems like a good time to make the move if you are really serious about it. And while you are praying and fasting about it all why don't you figure out where we should move and let us know :).
It is a big decision. I have already moved Carter once in a huge move that he still gives me grief about. I love The Ranches and Matt and I think we'll stay in The Ranches for quite some time because we love the charter school so much. That being said, I very often feel like pulling up stakes. I sometimes feel cramped and remind myself of my friends who grew up in 1400 sq ft houses with siblings and pets and I realize I don't really need a larger house. The friend/teen peers thing is such a valid issue. That is one of the very biggest things I will weigh should we decide to move. I say make a T chart of the reasons to go and the reasons to stay. Make a gut decision and then do all the right things to get confirmation.
I'm sorry, I hope it didn't sound like I was saying the other issues were not valid. They are all valid and I can understand how you feel. There is a lot of unknown with going, it's just a leap of faith in my opinion. Then again, it takes faith to sustain us when we feel like leaving but don't feel like it's the time either. So yeah totally complicated issue and I can relate. If it is any consolation when you think about family gatherings few houses are big enough. Thinking about Morrison get togethers makes me cringe but maybe that's just because I spent the last 4 weekends at one of their gatherings with the 17 grandkids and 6 siblings+spouses in most cases in a huge house that is still too small.
Move. But don't move to a place where you get a big mortgage to go with it. Move somewhere you can be free - like Indiana. Not really. I was thinking more like Fillmore. Farm land can be had for $2K an acre. We can all build passive solar, off the grid, homesteads. I'll grow the food, Randy and Deanne can do the doctor stuff and you and Kenneth can do the computer stuff. You can be FREEEEEE!
pray...good luck lol :) I love EM, but yes, as kids get older, it seems valid to move to a place that will fit the extended family your children may bring into this life (when they visit you and Ken that is)...and some land is not bad to throw in. As much as I like my neighbors, I would like to not be able to reach out my window and touch their house :)
Seriously? Where have I been? Not reading your blog. obvi. You can move. With me. in 2 more years. Yeah. it's settled. I would officially freak out if you moved soon. So stay. PUHHHHLEEESE?
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