A home to raise my little chicks, I mean kids, I mean children.

I have a beautiful home, not amazing, but I really do love it. I wouldn't mind some extra storage, but I think I have some work arounds that I will be putting into play in the next year or so, such as lockers for the kids stuff and closet organization plans.

There was a time when I wanted to move because it was so hard to live this far from civilization, but over the ten years we've been here a lot of civilization has moved to us, that is if you consider 5 or so banks in a two block radius civilization. There are still reasons I have to go into "town" every week, but it usually doesn't bother me too much, usually.

There was a time when I wanted to move because of my actual house. That was before the basement was finished and we were living with 7 people in 3 bedrooms and a dirt yard. When we finished the basement and added landscaping to the backyard, it became much more livable.

Now we are here at this time. Now, before you all get in an uproar I'm not saying I'm moving. As you can see from the above I've wanted to move a lot, usually yearly, but I don't. There have been many reasons for wanting to move. In the last few years though it has settled down to basically one reason. Is this where I want to raise my kids? This area is an amazing place to raise little kids. They have lots of friends and there are lots of parks. Also, I would be so sad to leave the charter elementary school. We are now moving into a phase of not so little kids anymore though. So I'm thinking:  Is this the jr. high/high school I want my kids to attend? I start looking at the demographics of the teenage population and get a wee bit concerned.

It's not so much about the house itself for me anymore. Other than the fact that we are getting to a point where I want to be settled down basically until we retire. I want to be in a home where I can raise my kids for good. Where they can graduate high school, go on a mission/school and return to the same house.

Even though we have lived here for 10 years my kids have not really had kids they have grown up with due to the fact that the area is so transitory. Luckily Ian and Sophia have both had 1 friend each that has been here the whole time, but the other 3 have not. So it's not like they would be leaving a lot of people behind.

Kenneth wants our next house to have more land. He wants to try his hand at little goats and I want to try chickens and we would like more garden space. Land costs money. Did you know? It does, especially in this high density desert. We want a nice house to go along with that land, not a mansion, just a nice, newer (as in less than 20 years old) house. That also costs money.

We are in a really nice place right now as far as our mortgage goes. We are actually paying huge chunks of principle right now, we get to see our mortgage go down every month. It's a very satisfying feeling. We could pay this house off in 5-7 years. 5 years if we paid extra and 7 years if we just paid what we are currently paying. That is very exciting.

However, by that time Ian would be leaving on his mission or just getting back, Sophia would be a junior or away at school, Theron would be a sophomore or a senior in high school, Orion an 8th grader or a sophomore and Dylan a 6th grader or an 8th grader. So we run into the problem of taking the kids away from what they've known their whole life at that point.

So then I would just want to stay here. There's nothing wrong with that. We just wouldn't have more land or a bigger house. No chickens, goats or bigger garden and really tight family get togethers as kids start marrying and reproducing. There's nothing wrong with that. I know people who grew up in tiny houses with lots of kids and their parents still live there. I really have no problem with that. I just feel that right now is the time to decide if we are going to move.

Ian will be in 9th, but he was home schooled last year and has attending 6 schools thus far, so he doesn't really have loyalty to any. Sophia will be in 7th so this would be a fairly good time to change. Theron will be in 5th, Orion in 3rd and Dylan in 1st so they would all be good as well.

Then there's the fact that I helped several people move last year and it does not look fun, so part of me just wants to stay here and never leave. I don't want to get my house ready to sell, I don't want to pack anything and I don't want to move and unpack. See? This is seriously so confusing. I have no idea what to do. It makes sense to move, it makes sense to stay. Looking at it logically from all angles:  kids, paying off a house, teenage population, and schools what do you think?

Leaving your mark on the world.

You know if you have kids that they love to mark their territory. I've cleaned more crayon off walls and marker off of faces than I like to recall. With my youngest being 6 I like to think that those days are behind me. I know that's not true as I still find little pictures from my 8 year old every once in a while. And Dylan did start young as you can see.

A few nights ago we found some beautiful signatures from Dylan in the backyard. That's right, it couldn't be done with something like sidewalk chalk, that would be too easy. Where did the marker we found in the backyard come from? No idea. He found it and proceeded to tattoo the picnic table, the plastic chairs, the railing, the a/c and most large and beautiful, the patio.

I really can't get myself very excited about such things anymore. Irritated and frustrated, yes, but not really angry. More like a mild indigestion and a surrender to the inevitable. I own nothing that is perfect and that's just the way it is for a large family with animals. Cat scratches on the leather couch, dog chew marks on the wood cabinets, marker and pen on everything, a heat ring and scratches on my beautiful table, every plate chipped(not kidding), dings in walls, stains on floors, and now Dylan on the patio, just to name a few.

If we had perfect stuff then I would have to assume that we were doing something wrong. The "stuff" is not what is important. The lesson of scrubbing a patio is what is important. The stains and marks let you know that a family of boys lives here, and one perfectly tidy girl, and that we value them, since they are still alive after all of that destruction. Bless 'em.

 

Beautiful post from my niece.

I have a darling niece who is also a very talented writer. I'm so proud to say I'm related to her. I'm also very pleased by the good job my sister obviously did in raising her. Here's the post that Haley wrote today. 

Pinewood Derby 2010

Theron and Orion both competed this year in the pinewood derby. I have such mixed feelings about this race. The boys are so excited and they love the extra time they get to spend with Dad getting their cars ready. I hate that I'm bugging Kenneth about it a month before the race and that the night of the weigh-in they are still putting the finishing touches on. Drives me crazy!!! Kenneth does do an excellent job though. Look how pretty and sleek these cars are. The kids do get to pick out the colors and approximate shape of the cars, they are also allowed to sand the cars.

Let's skip to the good news:  Theron received Best Sportsmanship for the WEBELOS den and Orion took 1st place in the pinewood derby.

Now for the bad news:  I focused on the fact that Theron actually did something to win his award and Orion didn't really do anything, since Kenneth makes the cars, and the fact that Orion had the worst sportsmanship ever. Orion would yell and point after a race, "I beat you!" Then during a race when other kids were saying things like, "Go Orion, go me, go Orion, go me, " Orion just said, "Go me, go me, go me." I'm sure no one other than his mother noticed, right? Please, let that be right. I was not happy.

 (Theron's car is second from the right.)

(Orion's car is second from the left)

I'm sorry that I didn't get super excited about Orion winning, because then he felt like he couldn't be really excited about winning. Which is sad, because every kid should hold on to their wins. Bad mommy.

I wonder where he gets his poor winning skills? I'm sure it's not from me who says things like, "Oh, I beat you, that's a bummer," while making a fake sad face when we are guessing how much the gas fill-up is going to cost. Come on, I only do that with my kids and never in front of other people. Kenneth might have some other examples of when I wasn't the best winner. So that's weird that Orion's not a better winner. I'm thinking maybe I should be modeling good winning skills as well as good losing skills. Crap. I do love a good gloat.

Spring brings...

The last week has been a great example of spring in Utah. 70's to 50's in a few short days and then back again. Rain drizzling, pouring, pounding, spitting, misting, all forms. Wind breezing, whispering, blowing, roaring, caressing, and nothing. Sun hiding behind clouds, glaring down, shining gently, warming, burning. Green grass, leaves, plants ready to bloom. Flowers on trees, in the ground, in baskets and pots. I do love rain, and I do love how it allows the desert to bloom. I'm really yearning for a longer stretch of sun and warmth though, but please not too hot.:)

Some things I love in my yard:  rhubarb, lilacs, peonies, day lilies, my flower baskets.

My rhubarb is awesome and it's beautiful and big. I love that it is ready to harvest before June.

We enjoyed our first rhubarb dessert of the season on Monday.

My lilacs are blooming for the first time ever. My neighbor and I planted 3 lilac "sticks" 3-4 years ago between our houses. 2 died and the one that lived has not flowered until this year. I love lilacs, they are one of my favorite smells of spring. So maybe in 10 years it will be big enough for me to cut some for inside.

I really need to learn how to properly grow peonies. I'm sure they hate my soil. Mine are pathetic, but I love them just the same. Last year I had 2 blooms and this year it looks like I might have 5, sometimes they bud, but don't bloom.

This is after 5 years with these 3 sad bushes.

Wow, day lilies are amazing. They are the perfect flower for the desert. They get bigger every year and are super stable.

They explode into green bushes and then erupt with yellow flowers in the summer. Can you see those tiny buds?

My baskets and pots. They are my Mother's Day gift every year because they aren't cheap, but they are so worth it. They are gorgeous and keep my front porch lovely all summer.

You may have noticed the other green going on around my plants. Bindweed, my nemesis. I'm trying a new thing this year where I let it grow a while so it gets established a bit and then spray or paint the leaves with Roundup. I heard that will work and is one of the ways to really get to the roots. I'll let you know how it works. I'm really itching to pull it right now. I'm waiting for a sunny, not to windy day to go to town on them.

What are your favorite things in your yard that spring brings?

A husband who cooks? Check.

I don't remember having it on "my list," but having a man that can cook is very nice. Kenneth cooks. He is a chef. He doesn't do it often, but I love it when he does. I usually just step back and tell him to make me whatever he wants. It's always amazing. He makes things like artisan breads, risotto, french omelets, and chocolate souffles. You thought I was kidding about him being a chef, didn't you?

This year for Mother's Day he decided to mix up some old and new things. The old being the traditional French omelet for breakfast seasoned with fresh chives and tarragon.

One new thing is the artisan bread. For lunch we had some slices of his artisan wheat bread toasted, with a little olive oil drizzled on and some Creminelli Casalingo salami.

For dinner he made a pancetta bread. Pancetta is like bacon, so you know I love it. Seriously, the bread was so good. Then we had gnocchi with an Italian sausage sauce. Come on, bacon and sausage in one dinner? Are you kidding me? Heaven.

For dessert we had a mango ginger white stilton cheese on Anna's orange flavored thin cookies. Tasty. You might be wondering where's the chocolate? Jennifer can't have a holiday about herself with no chocolate. You would be correct. Friday we stopped by Pirate O's in Draper and picked up some Amano chocolate and some Tim Tams. I am now in love with Tim Tams. I was already in love with Amano chocolate as we have experienced it at Pizzeria 712 and Communal restaurants. This was the first time that we bought it in bar form though, very nice.

Needless to say I am pretty spoiled when it comes to my meals on Mother's day and my birthday. Now if he would just do it more than 2 times a year.;)

Mother of the future

Who I thought I would be:

A mother of maybe 2, after all there's no way to give kids the attention they really need if you have more than that, right?

I was going to be well schooled, and well traveled.

I would have my Phd. and a husband who would willingly wear a suit.

I would drive a hot car and know how to drive a motorcycle.

We would live in an adorable cottage in Virginia, because I was going to teach at the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg.

What makes me laugh most about this fantasy is that I thought about only having 2 kids because of the attention they deserved. You can see pretty clearly that the story fairly screams, "Everything is about me!" I don't know when I would have had time to give those tiny little model babies any of my attention. I'm pretty sure I would be busy trying to get tenure and traveling the world.

What I am:

A mother of 5 amazingly real kids. I try to give them the attention they need. I hope they know that they are adored.  I am so happy I am a mother. I love it more the longer I do it. I am so blessed to be doing what I am doing.

I have never stopped learning, but as far as schooling I currently have an associates degree in General. I plan on getting my bachelors degree in General as well and if I could be a Doctor of General Studies you had better believe I would do it. For now I just keep learning. Wow, I've read a lot of parenting, diet, marriage, exercise, gospel, gardening, home care books and too many other topics to list. Yes, and a lot of novels and magazines. Also, the internet has brought me endless immediate knowledge. I love knowledge.

Travel? I've been to Canada. I did get my passport last year. It's not traveled anywhere yet, but it has big plans. It said I could come with. I usually travel with my expert traveling family in the car and I hope to be doing that for a long time to come.

Husband in a suit... not in many, many years. I met Kenneth right after his mission, so he still wore a suit every Sunday. You know how that is, ladies. Guys look hot in a suit. I'm sorry if it's not the most comfortable thing in the world, but that does not change the fact that they look hot. Come on, like women don't wear uncomfortable things to look nice? Kenneth says that someday he will wear a suit, but it will be an Armani. Fine by me. May that day come before I'm dead and he's just buying the suit to wear to my funeral.

Hot car. Well, in the middle of the summer, before the a/c kicks in, it is a pretty dang hot car. To look at though, it looks pretty much like every other minivan in the world. I am so grateful to have it though and love how it is comfortable to drive and so powerful and holds all of us.

Kenneth really wants a motorcycle. He would like to drive around the country on a motorcycle. I guess I would like a drive through the mountains every once in a while. But when he says country he means the USA. I'm really looking more for comfort now. I'll take the RV or the plane and the Marriott would be even better.

I live in the DESERT. I know there are people who actually love it, but for me I long for green things and not such extreme seasons. Yet, here I live, not in Virginia and not even someplace with full grown trees.

I am a teacher, not a professor and definitely no one calls me Dr., though I wish they would. I've done more teaching in the last 14 years than I ever thought possible. Wow, when does it stop? Never? I'm okay with that.

When I compare the two lives I feel sad for the first. What a wasted life Dr. Pelo-Awesome would have led. I'm sure she was still a worthwhile person, but a little too superior and into herself for my tastes. I'm so glad that she was laid to rest lovingly in 1994 and reborn as Jennifer Rawlings, mother of 5, wife to non-suit wearing Kenneth and official Phd. to none... yet.