Student Ian 2009-2010

This post is about my decision to homeschool Ian this year.

First the back story. Ian is a smart kid. Through the lower grades of elementary he was always one of the top in his class. His teachers always loved him and he was happy, we were all happy. It was about 4th grade that his teachers started not being so happy with him, I started to not be happy with him, he started not being happy with school. This was the year when he was supposed to take on more responsibility in his education, more reports, more take home assignments and such. We continued with problems through 5th and 6th. I would try to give him the benefit of the doubt at the beginning of each year, that this time he would do his work and take care of his education himself. I've always been here after school and we have always had set homework times. I just expected that he would, as he got older, take on more of the responsibility himself. By the first parent/teacher conference of each year I would realize that I needed to be on top of it more. We had papers that had to be signed everyday from the teacher and every night by me to keep up on his homework. Even with this, he would lie about what was expected on assignments and he tried to get away with whatever he could. 6th grade was when we discovered that he had Inattentive ADD. That brought at least some insight into his behavior, but it didn't really help him do any better or change his attitude about school and assignments. In fact at times he would try to use it as an excuse, "I'm ADD, so I can't...," "I'm ADD, so I don't..." I hate excuses.

Then 7th grade came along. Now he had 8 classes with 8 different teachers. All that added up to bad stuff. I tried to equip him with the things he would need for success. At that time he was on medication for his ADD, I bought him a big binder to keep everything together, I had a paper for each day and class so he could write down what he had for homework everyday. He lied a lot that year. He never had homework according to him. Imagine my surprise when I went to parent/teacher conference and found out he was failing his classes. The classes he was acing were the ones where he didn't have homework. If he could do the work in class he had A's. In his English class where he had something due every week, he had an F. I would check the website to see his progress, but it was very rarely up to date. We fought all the time. It was not pretty. I hated that our relationship was basically me yelling at him, and him lying. He was grounded more than not through his 7th grade year, not my idea of fun having an angry teenager around the house.

It came to the time when we had to decide where Ian was going to school the next year. He was at a charter high school/jr. high for seventh. We knew we didn't want him to continue on there. We were trying to decide between another charter school and the regular overcrowded public school. We fasted and prayed about it and we decided on the regular school. I had considered homeschooling through the years as we had our troubles, but didn't know if I really wanted to do it and Kenneth was always against it. He said it was his concern for my sanity. We enrolled Ian in the regular jr. high and I just knew he wasn't going there. I thought we were going to move or something, because I just couldn't see him going there, but I proceeded as if. A few days later I received an email from his English teacher informing me that Ian had failed his final due to the fact that he chose not to do half of it. I was just so mad. I couldn't take it anymore. I turned to Kenneth and told him that I was done. That I was homeschooling Ian next year, because I was done with the fighting and being in the dark about what needed to be done. Kenneth wasn't convinced until I showed him k12, which is an online school. In our area it is free through the school district. I wouldn't need to figure out lesson plans or anything. Ian would also get to take a language through Rosetta Stone, of which Kenneth is a fan. I filled out the paperwork that night. When I submitted it I finally felt total peace. I knew that I had finally found where Ian was going to school, home. I thought we could take this year for him to come back to himself, figure out what was best for his ADD treatment, teach him some life skills, help him regain his love of learning. It's turned out to be that and a lot more.

Present day. He loves that most days he gets to sleep in, but two days a week he gets up at 5:30 to go to the Legacy Center to work out with me. So his day starts with exercise, he reads his scriptures, does his morning chore, starts on school, which usually takes him all of an hour, does his German, which is about 1/2 hour, practices piano and reads a lot. His biggest challenge is hygiene, he really hates taking a shower.:-) He's been a big help with Dylan. Dylan comes home from Kindergarten at 11 and Ian helps him with his homework sometimes and helps get him lunch. It's nice that they have some companionship in the afternoon. He helps me out around the house, he babysits for neighbors, and he runs errands with me.

Ian has also been going to talk therapy, which started in August. That has been so great. I think that has helped him a lot. From the kid that he was in August to the kid he is now has been a huge change. He is no longer on medication. I chose to treat his ADD with exercise and nutrition. I can't say that it's been any one thing:  prayer, therapy, being home, exercise, scriptures, homeschooling, growing up or what, but he is a completely different child. In fact I know that not one of those could have done it alone, but all together they have worked a miracle. He has his moments and his days, especially when it comes to his siblings, but I am happy to see him now, where before I hated having him around because it was all negative interaction. I'm so grateful that I have been in a position to be able to take this year with him. I'm actually really enjoying it myself. I see hope for his future and really pray that he will be ready in body, mind, and spirit to return to school next year and continue on successful through life.