TMI Post

If you are of a sensitive constitution, someone who thinks it's not okay to speak publicly of "lady issues," or a man, you may want to stop reading now. Also, if you don't want to read this long saga.

I think I am ready now to discuss what happened to me in May. A little background is that we are finished having children, really finished. My cycle had become erratic, which was hard on my psyche. My sister had recommended a procedure to me that is called ablation. Technically called endometrial ablation. What it basically does is burn off the lining of the uterus meaning that you don't bleed at all or bleed less every month. It doesn't effect your hormones at all, so there's still PMS fun, but the bleeding does change.

I decided to go for this. So I went to my sister's doctor and I suggested it and he said it was a great idea and we should do it. So the doctor's office got it all pre-approved and it cost me about $200 out of pocket and was scheduled for two weeks later.  It was the day of Sophia's Hope of America concert. I asked if I would feel up to going and they assured me that I would be fine to go out the night of the procedure.

Now they tell you that there will be cramping with the procedure. I can handle cramping. I've had cramping since all this wonderful womanhood thing started. No problem, I thought. They did say some things that should have tipped me off to how painfuol it was going to be, but I birthed 5 children without drugs, I thought I could handle it. They said things like the fact that I would need drugs afterwards, Lortab or something along those lines. I told them I had something a little less powerful than codeine and that I would be fine. Now right there they should have told me that I would not be fine and that I really should take the harder drugs, but they didn't. They told me I would be given a Valium before the procedure, but I figured that was for people who are nervous, which I wasn't. They also said they would give me a shot to help with the cramping. I really hate shots, so I figured that was going to be the worst pain I would feel that day.

The night before I started with  a medication which helps the cervix dilate. That caused the kind of cramping that I thought would be the kind I would feel the next day. A few ibuprofen and I was fine. No problem. Kenneth had to take the day off because I was supposed to take drugs before I went, plus the Valium means I wasn't supposed to drive. I thought it was just a formality to have Kenneth there.

We go in, I pay the money, Kenneth and Dylan stay out front. I really thought this was not going to be a big deal. When I got back there the nurse gave me the Valium, the shot and then asked if I had someone who was going to be there with me during the procedure. That should have been a huge red flag, but I again thought there was no need for a little cramping. Let the pain begin. First there's the forcing open of the cervix that is super painful. I tried to relax and breathe, but I was quickly losing it. Then the burning started. They were using the NovaSure method for the ablation. It's high frequency radio waves for 90 seconds. I had thought previously that I could handle anything for 90 seconds. Now I thought I was going to die. It hurt so bad. I wanted to scream and if they hadn't told me how great I was doing I would have screamed. I really needed someone to hold my hand, but the doctor and nurse were both busy. When the doctor stopped burning, the burning didn't stop. I was very tingly also, because I don't think I was really breathing during the whole thing. After a few minutes I was taken to another room to lie down. Kenneth and Dylan came back and I lost it. I cried. It hurt sooooooooo bad. After a few minutes I was able to stand up and walk out under my own power. I wasn't feeling too horrible.  I thought the worst was over. I felt like I had been horribly violated, but it was over now. We headed for home and picked up smoothies. At about the time we reached the river the pain was kicking in. Of course there was construction so it was so slow and I was dieing. When we got home I threw up and got right into the bath. I won't bore you with MORE details but suffice it to say that for the next 5 hours I went through labor in reverse. The pain and contractions were constant. I was literally writhing in pain. There was no way to stop the pain and no way to get comfortable. I threw up some more, I cried, I writhed, I cussed. Kenneth was helpless as well, there was really nothing to be done. I just should have had drugs that knocked me out.

Kenneth ended up having to take the kids by himself to Sophia's program. The contractions slowed. I started to be able to relax between them. I could even fall asleep a little. I drank some Gatorade and was able to keep it down. The worst was over. By the next day I was to the mild cramping I expected from the whole thing. I did bleed for a few weeks, but I have not bled since. I was supposed to go back in for a follow-up after 4 weeks, but it was so traumatic that I just couldn't go back.

I think the only way it could have been different is if they had really told me how truly painful it would be. If they had told me it's not like childbirth, it's a different more intense pain. If they had said, "We understand you think you can handle the pain, but we would feel better if you would take the stronger drugs." If they had said, "I really think you are going to want someone here with you the whole time." They just downplayed it so much. My sister was under when she had hers done, because she was also having her tubes tied. So she had no idea what to expect. I talked to one of my friends a few months after and found that we had both had it done around the same time and it was so good to hear that it wasn't just me. She had a horrible painful experience as well.

I know the day after and probably for weeks after I would have told people not to do it. Now I would tell you to be prepared for how painful it will be, but not bleeding every month is pretty awesome. Just don't expect it to solve any of your PMS problems, there's still that fun bag of tricks every month.