Marvin Pelo

This is my uncle, Marvin. We knew him as Uncle Marnie. He passed away this morning, Jan 14th. He was more like a grandfather to me than an uncle. My dad's father died when my dad was 6 yrs old. Marnie is 15 yrs older than my dad. So for us he assumed that role. He always sent us a letter and $1 on our birthdays. He gave us each $1000 to help us in our lives as we grew up. He never married.

He lived a good long life, really, with all the health problems that he suffered in life, probably longer than any of us could imagine. He had diabetes, colon cancer, a colostomy, bleeding ulcers(probably more things that I can't remember). I never really thought he was a sick man. He always seemed pretty larger than life to me and joking all the time, while petting his kitty(his colostomy bag) as it purred. I guess it's been the past 7 yrs that have really shown us the mortality of this man. He had a few heart attacks, infections and hospitalizations. He started staying the winter at a care facility up at the hospital. He lived in Red Lodge, Montana, which can get really snowy and cold in the winter. He didn't intend to stay at the care facility long term, he would usually go home in the spring. This past spring however he had some complications due to his diabetes. It started with his toe being amputated. He decided not to go home at the time he usually did, but he still anticipated going home eventually. That was not to be as an infection set in and he eventually had to have his leg amputated. He ended up staying at the hospital facility for the rest of his life.

My siblings and I and our families all visited him this year. There was the feeling of "the end is near" whenever we talked about him and about the visits. I visited in July and we celebrated my 4 yr old's birthday with him. My children love Marnie so much and love going to Montana in the summer. I went every summer while I was growing up and loved it too. He was old as of late, and even though he has been "old" my whole life he never really seemed old until the last few times I saw him. He was 87.

I wasn't ready when my dad called last Friday to say that the hospital had called and informed him that Marnie was in kidney failure. All year we had all been thinking that it was "anytime now," and when "anytime now" didn't come I just thought that he was going to live longer than we all thought. I thought for sure that we would have another summer to visit. So I just wasn't ready. My parents headed up to Montana on Sunday. They were going to stay in Idaho at my sister's house, but instead felt like they should push on through. They received a call during the drive telling them that Marnie was unresponsive, but still alive. They got to Red Lodge last night at 8:30. My cousin, Russ, was there already. My parents stayed in the room with him through the night. Marvin was somewhat responsive to my parents, but more so to the nurses. They would ask him how he was doing and he would say, "I'm still alive." This morning my parents decided to go get some breakfast at about 9:30. My mom felt that if they left that Marnie would also leave. He did. He passed away at 10:15 seeming to answer an unseen visitor right before he passed. Russ was there with him. My parents got back at 10:30.

My dad is the last of his immediate family, his brothers and his parents are now gone. This year as I've thought about Marnie dieing it seemed logical and alright, but to really be in it, I hate it. Death sucks, natural part of life and all that crap. I wanted my kids to know him, to remember him. They won't. They will have vague images of him as I do of my Grandma Bertha. I will tell them stories about how we would visit Marnie in the summer and remind them how excited they were to see him and how much they loved him, but it's not the same. It just brings the concept of mortality crashing down into my reality and I don't like it here. It's supposed to stay at arms length where I witness it happening to my friends and am thankful it's not happening to me. Yet, here it is, in my face, taking someone I love and showing me that no one is immune. Enough drama. Orion told me that Marnie is in heaven and that reminds me that he was a really good man and as my dad is here, the rest of the family is there ready to welcome Marvin home. I am so grateful for Marvin Pelo in my life, for his example of service and love for all around him. I've always loved being a Pelo and Marnie is one of the reasons why. I'm feeling better now.