The other day I was attempting to spit a popcorn kernel and having a challenging time of it. I was thinking how unfair it is that guys seem to just be able to spit really well. A few nights before that I was trying to describe a noise to Kenneth and he asked why I can't make car noises. I swear the male of the species has some special effects noise making chromosome. It's amazing listening to little boys playing with cars and guns and making the noises. Why can't I? Now here's the thing. I truly believe I can do anything I want, other than defy the laws of physics. If I really wanted to learn to spit, I think I could do that with practice and if I wanted to make cool noises maybe I could take a class or something.
Last week I was listening to a video about Proposition 8 (making dinner while it was playing). It's the marriage bill in California, which I do support. One of the women on the video said something that I thought was offensive. She said something like, "Who do you go to when you need to learn how to change the oil if you are a guy? God's given moms a natural instinct to mother and love." She went on to say, "If you have a boy with two moms, who's going to teach him all the dad stuff? Dads have instinctual differences, they do, there's just appropriateness when to cry, when to be emotional, when to not, when to stand up, when to be the leader." I thought that was not an appropriate thing to say. If I wanted to learn to change the oil that would not be a problem and then I could teach my son. I think that a man and a woman are perfect compliments to each other in marriage, but it's not always in the stereotypical ways. I just thought that was the wrong way for her to try to fight this issue. Men and women do tend to have certain natural strengths and weaknesses, but they are not always what we think they should be in any given person. I know women that would much rather work than be at home with the children. I know men that are superior cooks. I know women that watch and play more sports than their husbands. I know men that are excellent housekeepers. I know women that are better at emotional stability. I know men that are better at nurturing.
I thought it was also a harsh thing to say for single parents, which she wasn't talking about, but still pertains. We all know the optimal situation is a home with a mother and a father, but that's not always possible. It's harder for single parents, but it doesn't mean that the kids are doomed because they don't have an opposite to see in their home, does it?
Then again, maybe I am playing into the hands of evil by thinking that in this day and age I can do anything a man can. Maybe if society didn't see men and women in such an interchangeable way as far as most skills it would be more difficult for people to be as accepting of homosexuality. All I know is this, I love being a mostly stereotypical woman. I love that I like to watch Barbie Movies and Kenneth likes video games. I love that I get to be a stay at home mom and Kenneth is willing to go to work. I love that Kenneth knows how to fix things and I know how to fix emotions. There's plenty also that's not so stereotypical, like my love of sports and his food snobbery. We compliment each other and we have things in common where they count the most, our love for each other, our children and the gospel of Jesus Christ. While there are things about being a guy that would be cool (no PMS or cramps, peeing standing up in the woods), I would never want to give up being a woman. So what do you think? Are women and men mostly interchangeable? Do we have to fit into the "typical" roles of female and male? If we don't, should we try harder to be a certain way? Does this play into society's acceptance of homosexuality? Am I ever going to learn how to spit? So many questions.
6 comments:
Wow, deep questions... all I really know is that part about sound effects is true. My cute little 15 month old boy makes the most impressive sound effects when he's playing cars or swords (or other weapons). Can't say a single intelligible word, but he does a mean light saber sound.
Oh my gosh what are you trying to start? I can see this getting way heated. :-) Do I dare comment? For me, I think because of the available experiences and opportunities men and women are mostly interchageable. I think there must be certain differences or there wouldn't be a need for male and female but I'm not sure to what extent that is true. Meaning I think that most or all of those differences can be overcome by knowledge and experience. Maybe I'm too liberal on social issues because of my upbringing but that's just how I feel. I've seen plenty of non traditional families raise good children and plenty tradition ones raise hellions. So I don't know where to go from there other than to say that whatever your family situation is to do the best you can and don't feel like you can't give your child a healthy happy childhood because I think you can if you put the work into it. The whole Prop 8 thing has been divisive in my family and I wish it weren't an issue. It's not a happy topic for me. Okay so now that I've said all that it's open season. Stand in line to shoot me. :-)
Great post, I enjoyed reading this, but I'm not going to comment.... :0)
Ask Jim to do his explosion sound effects/hand gestures sometime. It's pretty much amazing. He definitely has that talent!
As for roles, I think I made my views (archaic though they may be!) pretty clear in my opinion of Palin. I absolutely think men and women are different. And that doesn't mean one is superior, but there are definite differences and we are meant to complement each other and support each other in our roles. Of course that doesn't mean every woman needs to be a stay-at-home mom, or a mom at all for that matter. But most women are just better equipped to raise children than most men. That's in our biology somehow. Single parents can definitely raise amazing children, but I would bet a good 90+ percent of them would love to have someone around to fill some of the roles they have to take on themselves! But now I'm just rambling. And I can't spit either.
Good thoughts! I think almost anything can be learned, say if you really wanted to spit, you could find out how. You may not be the olympian spitter, but still a spitter nonetheless. I've said this before and I'll say it again. Women's rights are awesome. We've come a long way baby. Sometimes though, I don't like the pressure society places on women, while often times devaluing the role of the man. I think it's unfair that soceity tells women to be fullfilled we must be skinny, great and wonderful moms who are like Martha Stewart, all while balancing a full time job and being the PTA president. It's an exaggeration, but it's impossible. Having a situation where Jeremy is home (and essentially the Mr. Mom) for 2 days a week, I know he hasn't taken over my role, but he brings something different to the table that benefits the kids. I really feel like sometimes feminism has sold women a big fat lie in that we should do everything a man does. Do I think we can do everything-YES! Anything boys can do girls can do. I do feel though that men and women compliment each other and that is the way Heaven intended it. Whatever way you and your partner compliment each other is entirely up to you!
Not having a husband right now I can say that the emotional support a husband gives a wife cannot be duplicated in a homosexual relationship. Two women or two men will relate to each other in the same way in a relationship because they are basicly hardwired to. The truth is men and women have to try harder to relate to one another because of their differences. In order to complement each they must learn to compromise and empathise more. It would be much easier to for me to live with and get along with a woman, but thats not the point of life. Men can do everything woman can do and women can do everything men can do, but the point is to balance the load and learn to get along.
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